My Journey Through Finding My Self-Worth
All throughout my life, I’ve believed that I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t smart enough or pretty enough or kind enough. Just not enough. Some people told me that directly and there are times that I just assumed it. In my mind, I was inferior and I didn’t deserve much. I believed that I can disappear any moment and it wouldn’t matter.
With that little self-worth, it isn’t really a surprise that I was unhappy for so long. I was unhappy not because of my supposed failures. It was just a mere symptom of a much bigger disease. I was unhappy because I measured my self-worth based on external factors – factors that I couldn’t control, factors that I can’t really work on.
I measured my self-worth on other’s opinion, approval and recognition. Lately, I’ve realized that people’s opinion change all the time. Why should I value myself based on something so fickle? I realized that I can’t change how other people perceive me. But I can definitely change how I see and value myself.
“You can be the most beautiful person in the world and everybody sees light and rainbows when they look at you, but if you yourself don’t know it, all of that doesn’t even matter. Every second that you spend on doubting your worth, every moment that you use to criticize yourself; is a second of your life wasted, is a moment of your life thrown away. It’s not like you have forever, so don’t waste any of your seconds, don’t throw even one of your moments away.”
–C. Joybell C.
Self-Esteem vs. Self-Worth
We can’t really talk about self-worth without differentiating it from self-esteem.
Self-esteem is how you view yourself and self-worth is you much you value yourself regardless of level of your self-esteem. Self-worth is knowing you matter no matter what.
Self-worth is your foundation. What you feel about yourself will always change in terms of circumstances. You may feel crappy about yourself right now, it’s okay for a little while, as long as you still think you are worthy or valuable.
How NOT to Measure Your Own Self-Worth?
One major problem surrounding us is that people measure their worth based on misconceptions. In this portion of the article, let’s try to point out these common mistakes we made in measuring our worth.
A lot of us measure our worth based on job titles or how much money you have or how much instagram followers you have. These are wrong ways to measure your own value because these things can change in a blink of an eye. What if you get fired? What’s your worth now?
Some of us look at our worth based on rankings and how “good” we are in relation to someone else. Some of us think themselves worthy because they are the top of the class. These things can change too. These are still factors that you can’t control. Yes, you can control how hard you work but you can’t control how harder your competitor can work. You need to acknowledge that somebody can always be better than you.
Some of us also think that our worth depends on how our father, mother, sister, brother or life partner value us. Like others mentioned above, this factor is outside the self. Other people’s opinion and feelings can change too so this should also not be used as a ‘meter’ of your worth.
How to Measure Your Own Self-Worth?
Your worth is not defined your job, or your grades or your social life. Your worth is not defined by your failures or successes. You matter. Period. There’s no ifs and buts. You just need to remember this.
You also need to look inward yourself instead of outward. As I’ve mentioned, somebody an always be better than you but that doesn’t mean you can’t strive to be the best version of yourself possible. Instead of asking “Am I the Best?”, ask “Am I the best version of myself?” instead.
Your self-worth can only come from within you. If situations are hard and the horizons are grim, just come back to this one thought: You matter, no matter what.
I want you to believe right now that you are worthy, you’ve always been worthy and you will always be worthy.
Hello! How are you feeling right now? Want to share your opinions and stories? Don’t forget to comment down below!